Nostalgia is the biggest bone in my body. Pictures can send me to strange places, but I’m addicted to looking at them. I recently took time to clean up my computer and found photos from my college years; years that seem not so far away. This was the most magical time of my life. I love where I am now. The life I have built, the one my college years ushered me toward is exactly what I want and I wake every morning feeling lucky, but the years before this were so unique to what they are now. It was a different air I breathed and a watercolor future that was beautiful to look at, though sometimes hard to explain. Back then, I could spin words and see something amazing every day. The lack of permanent housing made the whole town my home and what a town it was! I felt fresh and young and often vulnerable. Looking at pictures, I cant tell where my body has…reconfigured. I was more confused and unsure, yet more capable of taking risks and exploring. Today, I feel a lot more capeable in many other ways, but it feels like a trade.
I believe in living for the now and appreciating every moment for what it is, but I also believe in taking a moment of silence for your past, for what brought you to where you are. Time and years and days keep moving and I feel like that’s a little unfair. How odd our world and how malleable our lives.